


coma baby

by dreadfulbeauties



Category: Arthurian Mythology
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Gore, Suicidal Thoughts, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25273519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreadfulbeauties/pseuds/dreadfulbeauties
Summary: through your scalp i would like to reach in / so i could pull out the monster you've been.
Relationships: Galahad/Mordred (Arthurian)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	coma baby

**i.**

you draw back when he ghosts his fingers over the split, red skin on your arm. you’ve heard plenty about him, about how he’s the kind to tear a wound further open if he has the opportunity.

but he brushes ointment that stings over your cut, wipes away at the thin line of blood with a towel. he — mordred — bandages it.

“you ought to be careful,” he says. “you fought well out there, but you don’t deserve to get hurt.”

(that’s less than you deserve, you know that much. you were a lovable child, always were. that was the case with your mother. but now that you’re at camelot, you’re trying so hard to keep it that way.)

**ii.**

you know that mordred wishes he could close his eyes and not wake up. you don’t want to be left behind to scoop up the remnants of broken bone and brain matter that were left behind when he cracked his head open. you know that you’re a coward for not inflicting wounds on yourself, so you throw yourself into combat — maybe if you’re lucky enough god will notice or your father will.

mordred keeps watch. you do, too. you’re at his side during the lonely remnants of the night, clutching him close and listening carefully to the beat of his heart as though it might be the last thing you hear. you tell him about the dreams you have where you’re lucky enough to get the things you want, and he tells you about the dreams where he destroys them. not on purpose. he’s wearing a mask as thin as a seashell, because he doesn’t _want_ to break anything.

you’re both dying. you’ll never be good enough and knowing that is slowly causing you to rot fiber by fiber.

**iii.**

you pray to your mother you’re sorry. she didn’t raise a wreck, you became it, and you’re trying so hard not to become it. 

you pray to your father. you know why every time he touches you he’s revolted. you’re the reminder that he was contaminated. destroyed. and he tries but you know.

you pray to god to let you find the grail. if only you could, then things wouldn’t be the way they are. you wouldn’t secretly wish that you’d waste away in the woods and be left nothing but skin and bones.

you pray that mordred is kept alive. you know you don’t want to die. it gets better, you hear, and besides, who will be there to keep mordred from cracking his head open?

**iv.**

god doesn’t let you find the grail. you go back to mordred. this was your one chance to slip out of your own skin and be someone else, but that’s ruined now? now you’re nothing.

“no, you’re not. and i’m not either.”

that night when tears are still freshly wet on your face is when you kiss mordred. he tastes of salt and weak tea but you want that flavor because it’s a reminder of what you _do_ have. you’re both still sick. you’re both everything and nothing, both reminders of things that weren’t supposed to happen, except one of you was a sinner and another was a saint — was. you’renot even sure what you are anymore.

“but that’s better than nothing, right? at least i’ve got you.”

“and you’ve got me.”

it’ll take a long time before you put the pieces back together (if they ever were meant to be fixed together) and find yourselves, heal from the sickness lingering. but there will be more days to lose count of, and the sun will shine a little brighter now.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a longer, more fluffier fic for galahad/percival planned out. and the mordred/percival one is on hiatus - i'm working on more original stuff.
> 
> thank you for reading. comments are always appreciated.


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